


The Birds and the Bees

by orphan_account



Series: Happier Feet Than Yours [2]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 23:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6061639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Astra and Alex have to get creative when Little J'onn starts to put a cramp in their style</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Birds and the Bees

Astra, the stoic Kryptonian general, was absurdly loud in bed.  

This was fine with Alex, generally speaking, and as long as they were making love during the day, they didn’t get much flack from the neighbors about it.  And reducing a woman like that to a loudly moaning mess was fairly satisfying, even worth the mild embarrassment of the old Russian lady next door banging on the wall angrily with a broom and hollering:  “YOU MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE, LESBIANS!  KEEP IT DOWN!”

She was ready with a snappy comeback, this time.  She had Astra pinned underneath her on the bed and was going at her with happy vigor, fully prepared to shout something back through the wall when Astra’s cries of pleasure reached that window-rattling pitch that they sometimes did.

What she was not prepared for, however, was a flurry of hysterical squakking beside the bed, and the nipping of a baby penguin’s beak, sharp on her toes and the soles of her feet.  “Ow!” she complained grumpily, trying to not to kick reflexively at the little water fowl.  “What the hell, Little J’onn?”

Astra opened her eyes and picked her head up off of the pillow, looking at Alex with concern. “Why did you stop?”

“Little J’onn just started freaking out and biting my feet!”  Alex grumped, bending her legs and pulling her feet out of pecking range. 

Astra’s disappointment at their being interrupted was quickly replaced with tender concern.  “He does not understand,” she realized, craning her neck to peer past Alex’s shoulder at Little J’onn, still waddling in tiny circles near the foot of the bed.  “He thinks you are hurting me.”

Alex huffed, and rolled off of her.  Astra was in mommy mode, now.  There was no salvaging things.  “You’re going to have to try to be a little less loud, I guess,” she grumbled.

“Then you will have to be a little less good,” Astra replied evenly.  Alex wanted to laugh, but Astra wasn’t joking.  She really couldn’t help her volume.  Incredible sex after uncounted years of underwhelming sex had left her with a lot of loud moaning to catch up on.

Half-dressed Alex gently ushered Little J’onn out of the bedroom, into the kitchen, and dropped a few anchovies into his food tray.  He tucked into them happily, and Alex walked back to the bedroom, gently shut the door behind her, and grinned at Astra, who was lounging on the bed, half-covered by the sheet.  “I just distracted him with some anchovies.”

Astra smiled.  “I do not know if it will be enough.”

“Let’s try,”  Alex declared, finding her mood again, looking at Astra with renewed hunger.  

She climbed back into the bed, slid underneath the sheet, and started kissing down Astra’s stomach.  Astra’s fingers wound themselves in Alex’s hair and Alex smiled.  After a few moments, she was settled comfortably with her chin resting on Astra’s thigh, driving her crazy with her tongue, and enjoying the resulting loud moaning. And with the door closed, she thought happily, there would be no little penguin biting her feet.

But soon enough, the same hysterical squakking erupted from outside the door, this time accompanied with the soft, repeated thudding of Little J’onn bumping against the door, trying to get in.

Alex stopped, sighing with frustration.  Astra stopped making noise.  Alex got up, flung the door open and stared down at the little penguin, who began softly head-butting her in the shins, squakking loudly.  “We shouldn’t have called you Little J’onn, we should have called you Little Mood Killer.”

“It is not his fault,” Astra reproached her.  “He does not understand.”

They struggled to figure out how they could explain to him.  “Maybe, we can show him some… I dunno, penguin mating videos or something?”

Astra folded her arms.  “He is a baby, Alex.  We cannot show him sex tapes.”

“But we let human kids watch animal mating videos,” Alex argued.

“Yes, but you do not show human children human mating videos,” Astra argued back.

Alex paused.  “That’s … a good point.  Weird, but a good point.  So, you’re saying we can’t show him penguin mating videos but we can show him human sex tapes?”

Astra folded her arms crossly.  “It is not my standard, human.”

“Why do I feel weird about showing our baby penguin human porn?”

Astra shrugged.  

"I mean, how do we teach a baby penguin about the birds and the bees?" Alex mused aloud.  
  
Astra gave her a confused look.  "We are teaching him about human sexuality, not birds and bees."

 

****

  
  


The next day, Alex was cooking breakfast when she decided to put on some music.  She plugged her iphone into the speaker in the kitchen, and Stevie Wonder’s “Superstitious” filled the room as she beat the eggs to perfection.  She glanced down and noticed Little J’onn happily bobbing from side to side.  “Do you like Stevie Wonder?”

His continued bobbing indicated that indeed, he did.  

She tried some Marvin Gaye while the omelets cooked.  Little J’onn liked that even better, his side to side bobbing accompanied by intermittent ecstatic little penguin squeals.

Alex suddenly got an idea.  She put together a playlist of the best soul music she had; Marvin, Stevie, Aretha, The Supremes, The Jackson Five.  She almost burned the omelets but one had to keep priorities straight.  She took breakfast off of the burner, took Astra’s hand, and led her into the bedroom while Little J’onn stayed dancing in the kitchen.

“Alex,” Astra asked with confusion, “what are you–?”

“Sssh,” was all Alex said.  She gently closed the door behind her.

Ten minutes later, she was lying on her back, with Astra straddling her face, her sighing escalating into shouting, when Alex heard pounding, not on the door, but on the wall.

“YOU ARE TOO LOUD, LESBIANS!”

Alex groaned.  

Later that afternoon, there was a note under the door, in all caps:

 

“DEAR LESBIANS:

YOUR SEXING – TOO LOUD!!

YOUR BABY DUCK – TOO LOUD!!

YOUR MUSIC – TOO LOUD!!!

QUIET DOWN OR I CALL THE LANDLORD!!!”

 

Astra’s jaw clenched.  Alex knew that “spoiling for a fight” look.  “I will call the landlord the next time she starts cooking.”

“You like the smell of her cooking, Astra.”

“Yes, but I do not like this note.”

“Baby,”  Alex sighed.  “We don’t want to get into a turf war with Mrs. Popov.”

Astra’s eyes brightened at the words “turf war”.  “But why not?  We have superior firepower.”

Alex pressed her palms against her temples.  “Baby, we’re not supposed to have a penguin in here.  I’m pretty sure if Mrs. Popov calls the landlord, we’re going to have a problem.”

Astra got dressed, they ate their omelets in silence, and then Astra went out.  She returned home a while later with a small white shopping bag.  She disappeared into Alex’s office for about an hour.  She emerged, dropped a peck onto Alex’s cheek as she watched the Saturday news shows, and went out into the hall.  She heard Astra exchanging a few quiet words with Mrs. Popov before coming back into the apartment.

“What was all that?” she asked.

“I gave her a gift,” Astra said simply.  And then she turned to Little J’onn.  She picked him up, kissed the rounded top of his little head, and set him on the couch.  “And I have one for you, too, little boy,” she said to him sweetly.

Little J’onn cocked his head at her, as if he understood her words.

She went back to the office, and returned holding a small iPod shuffle and a pair of large, soft headphones.  She looked at Alex, her eyes twinkling with enthusiasm.  “I believe it was your… soul music that he responded to so well, was it not?”

Alex nodded, watching in wonderment as Astra leaned down and popped the headphones on Little J’onn’s head, and he began bobbing from side to side happily, flapping his little flippers.  She recognized the opening strains of “Let’s Get It On,” small and compressed, drifting out of the earphones.

Astra took Alex’s hand and led her to the bedroom, looking very pleased with herself.  As the door  shut behind them, and they began kissing and tugging each other’s clothes off, Alex had to ask:  “What did you give Mrs. Popov?”

Astra smiled.  “The same thing.”

“You loaded it up with Marvin Gaye?”

Astra shook her head. “No.  I purchased several albums’ worth of Russian popular music produced during the period of what I estimated Mrs. Popov’s youth to have been.”  Alex opened her mouth to ask another question, but Astra hushed her with a kiss.  “No more questions, my human.  As the song says, let’s… get it on,” she finished with a smirk.


End file.
